Ahhh

Hey guys. Just a warning: this post isn't a factual update on my trip preparations, nor is it a commentary on events in Cape Town or South Africa. Rather, it's just a release of what I've been thinking the past couple days about going. I just thought I'd warn you; if you're not interested in my personal reflection I will not take offense (or even know) if you stop reading now. That being said...

Wow. I can't believe I leave in 2.5 weeks. I'm sure the actual day of departure going to be here before I know it. It is starting to set in that I am actually doing this, but part of me still doesn't believe it. I don't think it will even set in when I'm boarding the plane here in Minneapolis. Maybe when I'm taking off at JFK for Cape Town, but probably not even until I set foot in South Africa.

I realize for many people this trip might not seem like that big of a deal, but for me, it's going to be one of the biggest single experiences of my life, if not THE biggest. I realize it's *only* six weeks, but it's going to be 6 weeks of something like I've never done before. Many people will never have an opportunity never like this, and I try to remember that when I am nervous about leaving or sad to be missing people/events while I'm gone. I don't mean just the opportunity of spending 6 weeks abroad, or even in an amazing place like Cape Town. What is really powerful to me and both excites and scares me is the fact that I'm going to be completely on my own. Sure, I expect/hope to be in some contact with you all back here in the States while I'm in Cape Town, but it's hard to know how much. I have yet to decide whether or not I'm going to be taking my computer, and even if I do, I'm not sure how much internet access I will be able to come by. If I don't take my computer, my internet access will be limited to internet cafes. And even regardless of how much contact I have with all you loved ones over here, I still am going to be completely on my own.

To be perfectly honest, that is one of the first ways this fellowship appealed to me. I remember last fall hearing about my friend Erica's (who was granted the fellowship last summer) independent travel through Europe and thinking that's something I need to do, too. I think this trip, in addition to having a reason to live abroad for an extended period of time, being a representative for the University in another country, learning and exploring some interesting urban issues, and being able to make a trip I would otherwise never be able to afford, beyond all that is the fact that this is an incredible personal growth experience. As you may or may not know, I've typically considered myself a pretty independent person, but I still remain in close and regular contact with my friends and family. I am quite certain this experience will help me grow in so many ways, including helping me learn a little more about myself.

It's hard to know what to expect, really. Who knows. But I suspect that this will open up so many areas of life (or at least thought) for me as a person.

It's not going to be easy. Life is vastly different in South Africa than it is here at home in Minneapolis and Minnesota. I'm not going to be able to continue my usual phone call / IM / e-mail / call / visit / hang out routine that I am so accustomed to now with you guys. That alone will certainly take some getting used to. I'm not going to have lots of loved ones in a 20-minute radius or even a hundred mile radius. More a like 9000-mile one. (Though maybe the distance would be less if I could travel through the Earth instead of around it. haha)

Anyway, these recent reflections are no doubt only the start of things for me as July 17th comes closer and closer. 17 days, 5 hours, and 20some minutes. Eeek.